i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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