my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
