since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
