What did we do last night that was yellow?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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