dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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