how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
