Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
