i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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