I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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