I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
