You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
