Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
