well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
