Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
