i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
