sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
