Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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