i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
