I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize