you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
