Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
do nipples grow back?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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