After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
