My nipple is on Facebook.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize