Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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