I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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