so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
