I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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