I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
