I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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