Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
