That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
