Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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