I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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