I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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