adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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