operation harelip BJ is a go
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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