Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
