She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize