that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
