Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Randomize
