Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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