I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
