halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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