she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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