these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
