He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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