Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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