i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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