i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
