I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
