Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
