...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
