I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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