Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
