there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize