everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
