I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
