Cold hands, warm shart.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
