is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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