I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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