I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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